Site Revamp Coming Soon!

Ooooooh EXCITING! A huge site revamp is coming very soon and we are very pumped about it on our end. Stay tuned!

Amare Likes Your Shirt...Now Give It To Him

Chicks Love The Putter

THF Welcomes New Sponsor: PartyBets.com

The Howeva Files is happy to welcome our newest sponsor, "Partybets.com".

If you, like me, could honestly not care less about a random Grizzlies-Timberwolves matchup, why not make it interesting with a bet or two? Partybets.com gives you great bets on great odds, and we are happy to welcome them to the THF family.

5 Seconds Earlier: "I'm sorry sir, we've run out of nacho cheese"

You Spell Genius "C-U-B-A-N"

Every so often, a story comes along in the NBA that actually requires little to no input from me.  The story just comments on itself.

This is one of those times.

Click HERE,  enjoy the read, and have fun shaking your head.

Boris Diaw Gains Some Weight

No that is not Boris Diaw above, but what an absolutely AMAZING photo.

Boris Diaw, owner of the "Boris Diaw Face"*, must be having some fantastic offseason.

Larry Brown spoke out today, saying, "Obviously Boris is way out of shape."  Then he added, "He's running foul line to foul line right now, which is understandable."  -This being in reference to Boris sitting on his butt after hurting his ankle.  Obviously, while resting that ankle he was getting fitness advice from Raiders QB Jamarcus Russell.  

You can just picture Larry Brown, sitting and rubbing his temples with frustration as a Bam Bam Bigelow-sized Boris Diaw sweats while tying his shoelaces.  Diaw, always the consummate Frenchman, must be dipping his fries into mayo, because it wasn't like the guy was in fantastic shape anyways at the end of last season.  I can only hope that this continues, because a sitcom where Larry Brown has to get Boris Diaw in shape would be ratings gold.

*The "Boris Diaw Face" is an expression derived from Boris' overly smug team profile photos.  The face, without words, tells women, "Suck my ****".  For this reason, the phrase can be heard being used in social circles, for example: "How into me was she?  All I would have had to do was give her the Boris Diaw Face and she would have been all over me!".

For more information, please see below:

THF To Be Back In Full Force Next Week

Howdy, howdy, howdy.  Above is a pic from the fjords in Norway.  Yours truly is still on a whirlwind trip for business, making stops in Norway, Cannes, and London.  THF will be back in full force upon my return in around a week, so stay tuned.  There is a lot of excitement afoot, with a site redesign in the works, new developments, and way, way more in the way of cheerleader pics (which trumps everything else, frankly).  I'll think of you all fondly as I cruise the fjords of Norway, battling vikings and trolls.  

In the meantime, just a post to get that freaky Mark Cuban photo off of the site.  That is the stuff of nightmares right there.

-Black and Blue Jor

Cuban Is A Gem

Mark Cuban came out today and spoke about the Shawn Marion acquisition. Whenever Mark Cuban speaks it is like an antagonistic pile of slop that is nonetheless extremely entertaining. -Something he got from Donald Trump and gave to Spencer Pratt (it's like an asshole family tree). I can't even imagine working my entire life, training day in and day out, only to have some fat pile of parted-haired poo criticize me while he gets turned down by Hooters waitresses.

Anyhoo, back to Cuban speaking out, it was mostly pretty nice this time. HOWEVA, with such a jerk you have to take a magnifying glass and identify the bits of jackass in his statement.

For instance, Cuban says,

"Just as importantly, Shawn hears and reads everything saying he struggled. He wants to prove everyone wrong, which i think is a beautiful thing."

In short, Cuban here is saying, "Just in case anyone forgets, I'm going to pay very, very special attention to the criticism people have been heaping on this guy by calling him out on it. Hopefully he will take my jerky reminding and use it as an incentive to play better." It's like a guy telling a girl, "I don't care that everyone calls you a smelly, filthy cow...I love ya."

Seriously, someone deck this guy. Hopefully it makes him say more and then I have more to write! Yay, everyone wins!

NERDS!

Dwight Howard promoted NBA Live 10 the only way he knew how: By inviting gamers to the basketball court and making them look like idiots.

This has me torn. On one hand, I do not like embarrassing people that are not athletically gifted. On the other hand, I hate gamer nerds, and would give them wedgies and stuff them all in a locker given the chance. I share this in common with Ogre from "Revenge Of The Nerds". Here is Dwight playing around with some nerdy dorkenstein:

Note: A week from today I am going to Norway for business, so I will cram as much fun into this week as possible before I am inevitably sliced in half by vikings.